Saturday, May 19, 2012

You give and take away....

Buster left this morning.

We had a day's notice, but I was stuck in town all afternoon, and couldn't get out to ride him until evening. Kate and I got to the barn at 6:30 this morning to get in one last ride. Buster was pretty hyper, and, of course, we didn't get in as much time as I would've liked, but we had some fun. He did absolutely gorgeous walking circles for me this morning, and some nice trotting circles last night.

I almost cried when Dan and his neighbor drove up with the trailer. It was like, a pig trailer. Just metal bars. Dangerous, much? It made him look like he was being hauled to the slaughter house.

But Buster cracked us all up before he left though. I've never been able to work on trailer loading with him, since I've never had a trailer to load him in, so I was wondering whether or not he would go in. Dan hopped up on the trailer, and Buster stood for a second, and then leaped- literally, leaped- in! It was cute!

I hate that I've lost one my best friends ever, but I know Buster adores Dan, and Dan loves Buster. They should be pretty happy. Dan said that I was more than welcome to come see Buster and play with him anytime I wanted to, which was really sweet. I made sure to get Dan's phone number.

I hate that I can't think positive thoughts right now. Mrs. Wilson is trying to get me to take Tulsa (which I probably will, eventually), and get my schedule together and really put a lot of effort into him. I called her and said that I didn't want to yet. I'm not ready to start a new horse from scratch again- I'd just get frustrated and take it out on the horse. I'm going to take a break, and try and get my school schedule worked out to where I could come and ride at least 3 times a week. June and Mrs. Wilson have been telling me that basically, I'm not going to get another horse unless I can work the horse at least 3 times a week- which I totally agree with. But school is pretty much non-negotiable with Momma. I can't wake up at the crack of dawn, do my animals, do my school, go to work, go ride, come home and do general chores and extra school or run errands, do my animals again, and then go to the barn and work until midnight. And that doesn't count 4-H days and doctor's appointments and such......see what I mean? I can't think positively right now. So I guess I just need to wait and cool off before I make any decisions.

I've been singing that one hymn, "Blessed Be Your Name" all day.

"You give and take away,
You give and take away,
But my heart will choose to say,
Blessed be Your Name."

Mrs. Miller told me that anytime God takes something away from us, it means he's opening a new door and giving something new to us. And I believe it, I just don't see it yet.

Also, Jamie Grace's song "You Lead" played on the radio this morning when I woke up.

"You lead, I'll follow,
Your hands hold my tomorrow,
Your grip, Your grace,
You know the way,
You guide me tenderly."

So yeah. That's what I'm trying to live by right now. Romans 8:28, baby.

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